Tribute to the Boys
In 2005 our lives were about to go on an emotional roller coaster. Early in the year my wife Sheena and I were happy to find out that she was pregnant with our second child. We waited patiently until the 20 week mark for our second sonogram, surprisingly we found out my wife was pregnant with twin boys. As a father of a 3 year old girl I couldn’t have been happier to hear the news. After a few weeks with a specialist we found out that we were having a very rare type of Mono amniotic twins. These twins share the same sac and the same placenta. This occurs in approx 1 in 35,000 pregnancies and the chances of them living are 50% because of cord entanglement. This can lead to an interruption in the blood flow to one or both babies where they may not receive enough nutrients or oxygen. We were completely shocked not knowing what the outcome may be. For the next few months we were on high alert going for sonograms twice a week. We were told that the hospital was going to try and deliver the boys premature at 32 weeks. We had a date, and just had to try and get through the next few months.
I was taking time from work to go to the weekly sonograms, and unfortunately I could not go on October 26th 2005. I remember the phone call from my wife like it was yesterday. The fear in her crying voice telling me that we had lost the boys was not a call I wanted to answer. We went from the Doctors office to MMC to try and deliver the twins. This was by far the worst time in our lives. At first our thoughts were to have them delivered cesarean. The team at MMC explained the complications that it could cause for my wife and made the decision to have them naturally. This was a very hard decision for us, neither one of us wanted to deliver two children that had already died. Expecting the worst we did not want to see what they looked like when they were delivered. The staff at MMC explained to us that the boys would look and feel like normal infants. This was very reassuring but we were still skeptical. I remember watching my sons being born still, first Ethan @ 1 lbs 13ozs, and next Evan @ 1 lbs 11 ozs, lifeless, pale, no crying and no expressions. I wanted to hug them, I wanted to pick them up and hold them, but all I could do was cry and stare at the wall. For the first time in my life I couldn’t hear, see or feel anything. I do remember saying to myself why us god, please why us? Suddenly the little things in life didn’t seem so important.
The staff at MMC was very prepared, some of the nurses even cried with us. The one thing that the staff did very well was trying to make us feel better about the situation. We didn’t want to have any pictures because we didn’t want to be reminded of the horrible memories. They strongly suggested we should, and to this day I am so glad they did. We have their first outfits, blankets, hospital bracelets and birth certificates in a handmade gift box for each boy. If it wasn’t for the staff we would not have any pictures to remember the birth of our twin boys. We now have those pictures proudly hung at our house to show that we have two beautiful boys in our life that are waiting for us in heaven.
Although the experience was one that was difficult, unexpected and life changing to say the least, the staff at MMC helped us through this time and even prepared us for down the road. Somehow they knew how we felt, but more importantly they understand how we would feel later too. Nobody should go through a time like that, but unfortunately some will, and I am grateful knowing that there are good people at MMC to help others out who experience a situation ours.
